Yoga as a Home-Base

Yoga as a Home-base

The end of the summer consisted of chaos, the kind of chaos that comes from making memories and from sheer determination. I was determined to finish my yoga training hours before the summer ended, mostly because I thought we would be moving come fall. We did not end up moving the second fall began, but the determination to finish my hours in that time frame motivated me to focus and get them done. 

*In fact this blog post right here, is the last required yoga blog post. From now on the posts that you receive from me could have any subject! What a notion! (We all know, I will still talk about yoga because I love it.) As soon as I submit this post I can submit my packet and will therefore be a Yoga Alliance Certified Yoga Instructor. (Cue Trumpet Fanfare!) I am so happy to be certified, but it is bittersweet. I am sad to leave the student phase of my yoga learning. There is just so much to learn that I will have to continue being a yoga student even though I am done with my training. I digress...

One of the factors of chaos was travel. The first trip we went on was to Canada for a week. (I love Canada! No, really!) My sweet in-laws and Husband and I stayed in a cabin in Banff National Park in Alberta. It was so wonderful to be out in nature and to be experiencing different scenery. It filled my soul with joy and contentment. While at our cabin I told myself I was going to keep up with my personal yoga practice to not lose momentum on my training hours but also to keep my body healthy during traveling. 

I did not bring any of my yoga equipment (except for a racquetball and a slo-mo ball for the Hubs.) so the yoga I could do was only what was in my mind. This was actually perfect. I would sit on the balcony of the cabin and meditate until my body felt like doing some yoga postures. Sometimes the meditation would be short and I knew exactly what I needed that day, other times I would sit and ponder for quite some time before I felt inspired. It was my time and there were no limits. I could go as short or as long as I wanted. 

The next trip was to California my home state. My step-brother got married and all the siblings trekked our way to California to be there for his special day. This trip was more chaotic and on a more of a specific time-frame. There was driving, driving and more driving. (And a train, plane and rail system.) While traveling life back home keeps on going, even if you aren't there to experience it. 

As mentioned before Husband and I were planning on moving this fall. We are working on a career change for him and we were hoping to move out of state to be closer to our families. This will involve so many changes (most of which we are excited about and impatient to happen, but there are some that are scary.) 

How do you deal with changes, chaos, travel and uncertainties? For me, it has been yoga. A quick yoga practice in the airport waiting for flights, a long meditative practice when everyone else is asleep, a yoga practice filled with fear/tears and deep heavy sighs, a surrendering yoga practice or an acknowledging greatness in yourself practice. I've written about my emotions seeping into my yoga in previous posts and I have come to realize that this has been my primary coping mechanism. 

I was talking to my mentor about my situation and she said "Thank goodness you have yoga to help you through this confusing time." I think I understand that better now than I did when she said it to me. Yoga has become my home-base. When I am feeling stuck in life I can feel a release through the movement of a flow. I can find my confidence, my patience and my sense of hope and well-being in my yoga. It isn't always instant, but it does happen. 

I had to write an essay about my Yoga Instructor Training and there is a line from it that I want to share with you. "I have found my home-base in yoga, I have found a piece of my life that helps guide me to work with the other pieces. To have a profession where I can share this knowledge of comfort to others while continuing my journey with it is a dream come true." 

Namaste Bloggers.

-Camille

P.S. I received my Yoga knowledge from www.gobodhiyoga.com 

The training program was wonderful and I am so grateful to have been a part of it.

Teaching Yoga on the Fly

Teaching on the Fly: a terrible idea or a blessing in disguise? 

One of my mentors and dear friends once said "When people find out you are a creator in the arts you get asked to do "favors" in your community more times than you feel comfortable." This woman is a fantastic choreographer and one of my favorite women to dance with, and she does give of her talent on a regular basis. What she meant by her statement is that sometimes there are worthy causes to share your talents and sometimes there are times that just aren't worth your time and energy. (That sounded more snobby than I intend, I'm merely talking about times being worth the energy you put into them. My point is about good energy, not about being an elitist when it comes to your talents.)

In a previous post I talked about Smeagol Brain and how when I get over worked I tend to push away anything and everything and hide in my Smeagol cave. (My living room.) Well, when I am not experiencing symptoms of Smeagol Brain I am usually working on my stuff (Gettin' it done.) I am making goal boards, and checking things off lists, and watching inspiring Ted talks all to keep my fire going. BUT I still hesitate to agree to teaching on the fly. Why? Because of Nervous Camille. She comes and goes sometimes not really for any particular reason, other than I feel nervous to put myself out there. Sheesh between Smeagol Brain and Nervous Camille there are a lot of mental roadblocks to navigate around. (I'm sure I am not alone in this,  we all have our blocks, don't we? So we all have to motivate each other, am I right? I digress.) 

Well I am learning (slowly) how to navigate around the mental roadblocks and say yes to opportunities. I am trying to move past my blocks, meditate and ponder on opportunities given to me. There are times when I know that I do not have room in my schedule for the favor/opportunity asked of me and I know I need to say no. This is okay. 

Most of the time however, there is room in my schedule I just need to ask myself if there is room in my mind, asking "Can I do this, and will it be worth my time?". This is when learning how to meditate and visualize come into play. In an ideal time frame I would have a couple of days to "sit with it" as my instructor would say. The time frame of my decision varies from situation to situation, but what I am learning is my "sitting with it" (no matter how long) is the important factor in my decisions.

 My time to think, breath, visualize and feel what the situation will ask of me helps me to work past Nervous Camille, soothe Smeagol Brain and come to a healthy conclusion about the opportunity at hand. Sometimes I say no with no reason other than it didn't feel right. This is okay too. As long as Nervous Camille and Smeagol Brain aren't the ones making the decision, it is okay for me to say no. Other times I say yes hoping the opportunity will help me to learn and grow and often I am right. 

Nobody but me can say whether my answers are right in each situation. (God can, and He will one day, but for now I have to listen to myself and when He speaks pay attention.)

What should we take from this? We should take that instincts can be honored when you take the time to understand them. We should take that sometimes our minds block us from opportunities to grow and progress. We should take that when you give yourself the room to process decisions in a way that works for you, you'll find that your decisions will feel more like your own not Smeagol's and not someone else's. Take the time (even if it is 5 minutes) and sit with your thoughts. Your yoga knowledge and your personal knowledge can help you navigate life on and off of the mat. Believe and honor yourself and shine your light.

I received my wonderful yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

Namaste'

-Camille

Progression in Poses

The Importance of Progression in Poses

Before anyone gets the wrong idea when I say progression, what I am really talking about is the natural progression sequence that takes us to our pose. Natural progression is when we prep our bodies for a specific pose by going through postures that benefit the primary body part used in the pose. 

This may all sound like gibberish, so I am going to give you an example. Today in class one of the students asked if we could work on ways of getting into Lotus pose. The instructor agreed and then guided us as we stretched our hamstrings, out IT bands, our glutes and our hips. We went on a journey of poses as we opened our hips, loosened our hamstrings, warmed up our IT bands and opened up our glutes. We took time, trying to listen to our bodies and heed to what the body needed to do. It was meditative, opening and centering all at the same time. 

Why didn't we just go into lotus? We could have, and knowing how my knees work, I wouldn't have been able to get both of my legs into position. (And I know I wouldn't have been the only one.) We did the natural progression sequence to guide the body into the pose instead of forcing it. What happened after the sequence was magic. Our bodies felt more fluid and malleable and the pose came much more naturally.

In my yoga practice and in my teaching I have realized how important natural progression into poses is for me. Last post I talked about how our bodies are different and have different needs each day, some days a pose may come easily and some days the pose will be impossible. Natural progression can help in both of those situations. Natural Progression can guide the body into the pose in a way that benefits the body whether the pose was already possible or not. The sequence is just as important as the destination, as it can give you the releases the pose would, if you are not able to fully get into the pose. 

Doing yoga this way requires patience and tuning into your body's needs, and in the beginning it can seem tedious. The good it can do is worth the time it takes to allow a journey into your poses instead of just doing a pose. So I say be open to a journey when you need one, you  may even learn things in the journey, who knows?

Til next time,

-Camille

P.S. I received my yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

Consistency in Yoga

Consistency in Yoga: Does it exist?

Well, yes and no. A great lesson I have learned from yoga is that my body is different every day. This is shown in my yoga practice and my yoga teaching.  There will be days when my body wants to do strength building, focused poses and there will be days when my body wants to stretch and be still. There are also inconsistencies between different sides of my body. This is normal. I've come to expect the differences each time I step onto my mat and I worry less about being even amd just let my body speak to me.

So say you start to notice inconsistencies in your yoga, and you start to get discouraged,  thinking you're not improving. Guess what?  It is perfectly okay! I promise!  Having inconsistencies in your practice does not mean that you aren't progressing and improving.  It actually means you are finely tuning your ability to recognize and listen to your body's needs, which is what yoga is all about. Hearing a body's needs and heeding them will give you a symbiotic relationship with your body that will serve you well in the  long run. So don't fret, every time you get on the mat- listen and  tell yourself you are becoming a better yogi.

Also on the lines of consistency,  yoga practiced for 3 days a week (even as little as 15 min) will benefit you and your body greatly. The consistency of your days including yoga will calm your mind and soothe your body and give you that wonderful symbiotic relationship we all want.

Have fun listening to your body and experimenting with what it needs in your practice. 

Namaste,
Camille

P.S. I received my yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

Teaching Children

As part of my wonderful training a www.gobodhiyoga.com I am trained to teach yoga for children if I so choose. 

I have experience teaching young children dance and what I have learned is that the format is very similar. 

A kids yoga class should be structured according to the child's age & attention span. A class for a 3 year old would be different than a class for an 8 year old. : )

I have wondered whether I should offer kids yoga classes in my yoga business.  For a while,  I thought it wasn't my cup of tea. Then when I realized that I already know how to structure a kids class it dawned on me- maybe I should consider it! 

If it is anything like teaching dance to children,  I think it could be very rewarding.  My students exhaust me, but they also inspire me.

Isn't it funny how dance & yoga seem to intertwine in my life? I can't get rid of them. They're too much a part of my heart. Teaching children could be a part of them both for me.

Well, back to the meditation pillow, and of course back to work.

Till next time. 
-Camille

Going with the flow

Life never seems to go according to plan does it? 

We can control our thoughts, our choices, and our actions.  We can work hard to achieve change within ourselves.  We really are so powerful.  We have great evident abilities and we even have latent abilities, waiting to grow.

We can not however,  control the decisions of others.  Decisions can be made that you had no control over and yet they still affect you. This can range from minor inconveniences to tragedies.  Unfortunately this is one of the sad laws of mortality. There are things we can control and things we can not. 

Does this fact make life harder? Yes, it can. Does this fact leave us helpless,  being subject to someone else's whims? No. We always have a choice when it comes to our thoughts and our actions.  (With the exception of slavery.)

The choice is ours to let inconveniences become real frustrations,  or to let them pass by us, not touching us. Even in a tragedy we have the choice of how we respond to the event. 

I think it is very tempting to want someone to blame when life doesn't go according to plan.  Be it God, be it a group of people or one specific person,  we want someone to direct our anger at. I'm not saying there aren't guilty people in the world.  There are, there are plenty. 

But focusing on the blame and only the blame does not give us our power.  It takes away from it. There is a difference between acknowledging a wrong and obsessing over the wrong.

We get the power by not wavering in our integrity and by learning from every situation.  (It is difficult,  but so important. )

Find ways you can learn and move on from things in your life right now. 

Have faith in yourself,  with some reflection, meditation and good work you can get there. 

-Camille

P.S.  I received my yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

Reinventing The Wheel

Does every Yoga class or session have to be Uniquely different? 

What a tricky question. This is the question that I gave myself when I started teaching yoga. There are just SO MANY COOL THINGS IN YOGA  that I want to show my students! 

I just got so excited to share my knowledge that I wanted every class I taught to change my student's lives. I know that sounds crazy, but if you know me I tend to get over excited easily. Woops. :) 

Though I do believe that yoga can change your life, I had to learn that something that significant can't happen in one yoga class. (Thank goodness I have a husband who not only supports me but knows when to talk me off of my over-excited mountain.) What I learned was that every person who enters my class will be different and their personal yogic journey will be different. Honestly, can you imagine tailor-making a class that will give every person exactly what they need so they can progress on their journey perfectly?

 I can't imagine it either. That is the pressure I was putting on myself when I first began teaching.

 One day when I was so nervous about my yoga lesson plan that I was crying on my stairs asking my husband if I'm a fraud, something dawned on me. Should something I love be this anxiety causing? (A little nervousness yes, but feeling incompetent, no.) Husband's response to me helped me to understand. He said you don't have to reinvent the wheel every time you teach. Meaning, that I don't have to make every class unique and life-changing. 

I took Husband's advice along with the instruction of my yoga mentor (at Bodhi yoga www.gobodhiyoga.com) that I can open the yoga gates for my students and then they can choose where they want to go from there. What happened was I began teaching my classes in this way-beginning with breath work, warming up the tissues, then movement through poses. That was my outline or structure for the class. As I did this I noticed that my classes became unique on their own. Having the structure of the class so that I (really the yoga) can be free to adapt within the structure makes each class a unique blend of what our bodies wanted that day. 

I don't have to reinvent the wheel, in fact I can use the already invented wheel to take me where I want to go.

As an instructor I really do want to give your body what it needs and I do want you to go on your yoga journey. I just can't force it, and I think it is better that way. Yoga will be your teacher and I will just be the person adjusting you and guiding you. The nice thing about each class being unique is that occasionally opportunities arise for new things to be taught, and I try to use those opportunities to guide you and challenge you as your journey (and your spirit) grow. 

Namaste'

Camille

Courage to Respect Your Needs

I recently read a young adult novel about a teenage girl figuring out life. This particular novel stood out to me because the main character Kat walks to the beat of her own drum, the publisher illustrates that by saying "Kat does yoga down the halls of her high school. "

I thought well, let me see where they are going with that.

I read the book and actually really enjoyed it.  It wasn't cheesy or preachy, it just talked about life.  I found that refreshing.  The yoga part was mentioned here and there but not really focused on.  What I appreciated is that in one of the brief mentions of yoga Kat says "I didn't know what else to do in the situation,  so I started my 3 part breath. "

It takes a lot of courage to take care of yourself,  no matter what others around you think.  I don't mean that the world is full of people who don't want you to take care of yourself and you have to fight the power- I truly don't believe that. I mean,  it takes courage to tune in to your self in the midst of an uncomfortable (or just new) situation and acknowledge then honor what you are feeling.

I had a misconception for a long time that you can't let your true feelings show (in an uncomfortable/scary situation) until afterwards, when you are alone and you can process them.

What I understand now is I can acknowledge uncomfortable feelings and accept them when I feel them. What this means is saying to myself "It's okay that these feelings are coming to the surface, this is a healthy emotional response. What is my body telling me here & how can I take care of it?"

The answer to my question usually is inner relief that I'm not trying to fight the feeling,  and then permission to come back to it when I am ready.

Obviously,  I have not mastered this process yet, in fact this is a relatively new approach to emotional stress for me.

I have noticed that my body and my mind are a partnership and like any great partnership when they respect each other,  things just go smoothly. 

I actually think I learned a lot about all the relationships I am a part of with this experience.  Respect and appreciation can really go far.

-Camille

P.S.  I received my yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

A Yoga Article That Speaks to me.

While reading articles online to pass the time while I'm sick, I found a beautiful article about yoga & relationships.

Enjoy.

http://yoganonymous.com/what-7-yoga-poses-will-teach-you-about-your-relationship/

-Camille

I received my yoga training @ www.gobodhiyoga.com

Yoga when Sick

These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind; travel, family emergencies, broken air conditioner, more travel and reunions.  I've been running full blast throughout all of these,(even if my AC wasn't) and a whole range of emotions from very happy to somber have been present. As per usual with my body, it waited until the whirlwind was over to fully express it's symptoms of unease.

So here I am in a stomach specific episode.  Bleh. This particular episode means resting and babying my stomach until it decides to start working again. 

For those of you who know me, you know that I don't wait very well.  Well it seems that I need to get over that.  : / Anyway, I digress. What does yoga have to do with this?

Well, how do I aid my discomfort and take care of my body without forcing it to do things it isn't willing to do right now?  I experiment with some yoga.  I obviously don't do a full 90 minute sequence, but yoga comes in many forms.  What I do is start with child's pose and focus on my breathing,  trying to let the prana move through me, and not forcing things to come faster. Then when my body feels ready I move slowly to something else.  It is easier to take my time when my body is in pain, so my yoga practice may look like me sitting still for a long time.

It varies day to day what I need, but if a pose creates more intense pain or increases my naseau then I come out of it and sit on my knees and breathe. For me, this is my home base. This helps my body get out of bed and reminds it that it is alive. Even if I am just breathing. 

I wanted to write this post to illustrate how yoga can be tailored to your needs, and how there are many facets of yoga.  Yoga is yoking your mind, body & soul. Giving all three what they need at any given time. 

Well, there are my two cents on how to survive a Fibro episode.  Also, some chick flicks and baths couldn't hurt.

Till next time. 

-Camille

P.S. I got my yoga training at www.gobodhiyoga.com

Emotions During Yoga

I find it so fitting that today is the day that I allotted myself to write about emotions during yoga.

I thought I would be giving an objective point of view on the topic but my yoga experience this morning changed that idea. 

As you all know I received my yoga instructor training @ Bodhi yoga  www.gobodhiyoga.com. In my group of fellow trainees there were 7 other awesome women embarking on the same journey I was. We got to know each other as we dived into the Philosophy of yoga, the Anatomy of yoga and the Spirituality of yoga. Each training weekend brought new experiences that we shared together. We all have different yoga backgrounds and plan on taking our yoga in different directions. These group trainings were great because we really got to see how yoga can be great for everyone, no matter how you started and no matter where you take it. I was nervous at first to be learning such important things with complete strangers, but those complete strangers soon became my sisters in the yoga journey. 

One of those sisters is Amanda. Amanda is a Pitta. (See previous entry about Doshas to fully understand Pittas.) She likes to grip life by the horns. She is a no nonsense type of person with out being abrasive and harsh. She is comfortable in her honesty, so much so that she could be honest with her opinions with out having to qualify them. Amanda had some health issues (yoga attracts us folk), and she found yoga as a way to overcome them. 

To give you some examples of the type of person Amanda is I will describe some of the things she would do with out being asked. When the early morning trainings would start she would first pick up some coffee (fresh squeezed juice for us non coffee drinkers) and refuse to be paid for it. She would buy way too much food at our lunch breaks so that she could share it with the group. She would ask about an advanced version of a pose and then she would try it for herself without hesitation. She would offer encouragement and guidance to others when they were being hesitant about the intimidating poses. (To quote her: "Camille, you can do it, push into it and let go.") 

This sweet person, Amanda, like I said gripped her life by the horns. She loved to river raft and on her recent rafting trip this past weekend she went off the raft and went missing. This was Saturday June 28th, 2014. Today is Tuesday July 1st, 2014. I've been stalking her Facebook page to see if there any updates of her being found. No word yet. 

I dedicated my meditation and my chants to her yesterday. My thoughts and my prayers were with her and her family all day. 

I slept last night (really good, which is rare for me.) and I awoke this morning not thinking of Amanda. I went to a yoga class (sometimes it is nice to be the student instead of the instructor) and I focused on my practice. I let my body breathe and sweat and enjoy all aspects of the practice. It was time for Savasana and I laid my head on the ground and closed my eyes. My eyes popped open as I saw Amanda in my mind. I thought of her laugh, her smile, her contagious spirit. My heart swelled and she was all I could think of. 

The instructor pulled us out of Savasana and I knew it was time to say good-bye to my new sister in yoga. I was in a class full of strangers so I didn't want to let my emotions come spilling out, so I pulled myself together, thanked the instructor, grabbed my mat and walked to my car. I put the key in the door of the car and I let myself feel the sadness of good-bye. I cried and cried and cried and cried. I cried because it was such a short time I knew her, I cried because so many people love her, I cried because it was a gift to know her, I cried because my heart needed to show my appreciation for her through my sobs. Crying was my release of all the emotions I've felt about her since I met her. 

I messaged my instructor (my training instructor and mentor) saying "I felt her during Savansa today" and I had. I came home and allowed myself to say good-bye and I went straight upstairs and grabbed the bracelet that she had made me with my pink and red heart chakra beads on it. I held it close to my heart and I said Thank you. 

As you can tell this post, is a personal experience with emotions during yoga. Obviously, they won't always be this extreme or dramatic, but they can be. What yoga does is yokes your mind, body and spirit together as one and when that happens emotions can be expressed in healthy ways. Fears, insecurities, sadness, worry, and frustrations can come out in your yoga practice. Joy, peace, hope, confidence, and gratitude can come out too. It is important to note, that what your body needs to express your body will express, release and then rebalance. Allow your body to rebalance itself in your yoga practice, metaphorically and literally. 

I needed to feel Amanda, say good-bye to Amanda and show gratitude for Amanda today. That was my personal emotional rebalance. 

Namaste Amanda.

 Here she is doing a headstand outside a restaurant, look at that smile on her face. :)

-Camille

Hands On Adjusting

Hands on Adjusting

Hands on adjusting in yoga is when the yoga instructor guides you towards more comfort in the yoga pose. Some instructors will walk around the class and watch for people to adjust in their pose. A lot of yoga students feel uncomfortable with adjustments because they think that when the instructor adjusts them they are correcting them and essentially telling them they are doing it wrong. 

I am here to tell you all that it is not that at all. There are hands on adjustments to help you have the right alignment and form in your pose, (which is really to prevent injuries, not to correct or chastise anyone.) and there are adjustments that are a symbiotic exchange between the instructor and the student. A good instructor (in my opinion) will give both types of adjustments. 

The symbiotic adjustments are adjustments where the instructor is in a yoga pose themselves as they adjust the student. Because both are in a yoga pose there is an exchange of energy between the two people. I am a 5'7" woman and I am able to give adjustments to students who are bigger than me (without trowing out my back) by maintaining my form in my yoga pose and if I am doing it right, I can get a similar release to the release I am giving. 

In my training at www.gobodhiyoga.com we learned how to properly adjust each other and we practiced, over and over our adjustments. (It was heaven.) We did this on each other so we would know how it feels to be adjusted and how it feels to adjust. I enjoyed both and was very excited to practice them on Husband. (He didn't seem to mind.) Once I know how and adjustment feels I am excited to share it with my students. 

Because touching is an intimate thing I try to ask my students before hand if anyone doesn't feel comfortable with adjustments. I do this because I really don't want to touch someone who doesn't like to be touched. It will take away my precious energy and we both will feel frustrated. If this sounds like you then don't be shy to say "I prefer not to be adjusted" in a yoga class. I would bet that your instructor is just happy to know before they cross your boundaries. I also try to spread my energy out throughout all my students, meaning I may give different adjustments to different students. It all depends on the timing of the class, what I have energy for and what I think they individually would benefit from. 

The hands on adjusting has been one of my favorite aspects of my yoga instructor training for so many reasons. There is something amazing that comes from hearing someone say "ohhh thank you!" and there is something great about feeling people's energies throughout the class. I really think it is a gift to be able to be in unison with my students even just for a moment. As we breath together and lengthen in poses, great things happen. :) I loooooove adjustments. 

The adjustments for form and alignment are just as important. The important releases in yoga happen in proper alignment (and frankly the poses just feel better). There were poses that I thought were impossible to me, I really thought "I can work hard, but this pose will never come." I learned that it was not my ability to do the pose that was holding me back, it was my alignment. I learned how to adjust my alignment and found I could do poses I never thought I could. I also found the poses that hurt before feel better and there is room to relax. This is because of alignment. Instructors can verbally or hands on adjust you in your pose to help get you to this place of contentment. I promise, we instructors want good things for you! Let the yoga fully come through you. :) 

Til next time!

Namaste,

Camille

The tiers of the Bodhi flow & timing

The Bodhiflow is a vinyasa flow that we learn in our training at Bodhi yoga.

The Bodhiflow can be used as a powerful,   intense flow series if you want.  It can also be used as a slow, lengthening flow series. There are 4 tiers of this flow and in our training we learn the flow in many different ways.  (This is a jumping off point for us as instructors. So we can take it and go with it however we want.) I have done that with my teaching.  I will use pieces of the flow and go in different directions.  It is great to have a starting point when I need one.

This past week I had the opportunity to be a student in one of the Bodhiflow classes at the Bodhi yoga center. The flow is different every time I teach it and being a student was no different.  This specific time was a unique experience for me.

I learned how emotions that are present in my day to day life make their way into my yoga practice.  I've been feeling impatient lately for things I want in our life.  (Husband and I. ) and I have been having a hard time accepting the fact that life doesn't work on my time line.  In this yoga class I was in the instructor went through the flow quickly and over and over again. I LOVE yoga normally and I found myself thinking "We aren't done yet?  Are you sure?" Whenever I thought those thoughts I had to fight frustration and annoyance.  I had to take some breaks (more to mentally calm down. ) but I did finish the practice.  It was in Savasana that I had this thought:

"Things happen in their own time."  I sighed as I realized I was learning a lesson about my life. 

I am still learning the balance of working towards something to happen and trusting that the thing will happen. 

Things happen in their own time.  Even in yoga.

Namaste,
Camille

I received my yoga training at www.gobodhiyoga.com

The Gunas!

Today I want to talk about something cool in yoga: The Gunas! 

In yoga there are 3 energies that govern anything happening on the physical plane. The Gunas could be present in personalities, in the way we live our lives, in the way nature happens around us and in the way we approach our yoga practice. 

The 3 Gunas are Rajas, Tamas, and Sattva.

Rajas: (or Rajasic Energy) is the forward-backward movement. I like to picture the rowing motion that rowers do to get their boats across the water. Forward, backward, forward, backward. Rajas movement is intense and can sometimes be exhausting. Traffic jams are an example of Rajas presenting itself in our surroundings. Another example is when a rain storm turns into a hail storm. There are people who have Rajasic personalities. (I bet you know someone like that, someone who is intense, willful and maybe even manipulative.I do and I'm exhausted thinking about them.)  

A Rajasic yoga pose would be Virabhadrasana I (Warrior I Pose). The rajas comes into play with the front leg and the back leg pushing simultaneously into the ground. This creates the forward, backward energy flow throughout your body. The forward, backward energy flow that comes in this pose can be invigorating and empowering and that may be why I enjoy this pose so much. 

Tamas: (or Tamasic Energy) is the upward-downward movement. This movement is strong, deep and internally focused. I like to picture a tree with its roots beneath it and its top reaching to the sky in one, continuous line. The bandhas are an example of Tamas in yoga. (You are sealing and lengthening upward.) Some negative examples of Tamas in emotions are fear, slothfulness, and inattentiveness. Tamas is present in someone when they are resistant to try a yoga posture because of fear, or uncertainty. (We've all been there.) 

A Tamasic yoga pose would be Vrksasana (Tree Pose). Another Tamasic yoga pose would be Tadasana (Mountain Pose). These poses are similar in that there is energy going downward and upward, creating the long line. You feel this in these poses when the crown of your head lifts as you plant through the balls of your feet. 

Sattva: (or Sattvic Energy) is the side to side movement. Rajas and Tamas both are high energy Gunas. Sattva, is the balanced Guna. The energy of Sattva is peaceful, delicate and graceful. I like to picture waves in the ocean moving from one side to the other in a constant, peaceful way. Sattvic energy is pure-minded with neither judgement nor self-awareness. In a good Savasana Sattva will come into you. If a person has a Sattvic personality they are a calming influence, living in harmony with who they are what they believe. Sattvic people tend to bring peace into other's lives.

A Sattvic yoga pose would be Prasarita Padottanasana (Straddle Forward Fold Pose). This pose involves the side to side energy with the straddled legs and can bring the Sattvic peace in the forward fold. I particularly love this pose for that reason. If I am feeling insecure or full of self-doubt, I go into Prasarita and as I push outward through my legs I feel calm wash over me. I suddenly don't feel scared or worried anymore, I feel peace in the moment. That is Sattva working in me. 

The 3 Gunas can be used all throughout your yoga practice. There are poses that primarily use specific Gunas, but each pose will have an aspect of all 3 of the Gunas. If you understand the energy flow through you while you are in a pose, I think you will better feel the pose. The pose will begin to feel more natural and you'll be able to deepen into the pose. 

Have a great week

Namaste'

-Camille

I received my yoga (& Guna) knowledge from Bodhi yoga. www.gobodhiyoga.com 

Things in Motion...

Things in Motion tend to Stay in Motion:

Chronic Fatigue. Bleh. Even typing the term makes my shoulders slump forward in frustration. Something that is a part of my life, (Thank you Fibro.) is "Chronic Fatigue." Yes I love sleep and I could sleep all day and still feel like I need more, and yes my brain gets quite foggy when the fatigue really kicks in, and yes I experience the general feeling of an over-tired body. These are the typical symptoms of "Chronic Fatigue". It really is just a fact of my life though. Husband knows that after a road trip, I have to rest for a couple of days before I can get back into my routine, so we plan that into our trips' schedules. My parents and my in-laws are used to the fatigue and they expect it whenever we come to visit. (A bed is usually made and waiting for me to sneak off to and get some rest.)  I really think that as annoying as Chronic Fatigue is, I am used to it. I know how to work around it. It is what it is. 

There is another fun aspect of fatigue that I  lovingly like to call the Smeagol Brain. Smeagol Brain is when my brain basically gets so obsessed with "taking care of myself" that I hide from the outside world in my cave. I don't have an actual cave to hide in, but I do have an apartment that if you close all the blinds can have a strong resemblance to a cave. There also is of course, the metaphorical cave, the cave in my mind. Now, I have to clarify that the cave in my mind isn't a cave where I go to plot my evil plans to take over the world, so all you can readers can rest easy. 

The "hiding" can't really be seen by the physical eye. The hiding is more of an internal frustration that builds and builds into grumpy, angry thoughts. The thoughts usually are focused on time and energy. (My two precious'.) When my Smeagol side feels my time and energy aren't being valued it starts to resent anything  that would use those precious things. I, of course still go to my job and still do other things that if I didn't there would be dire consequences, but I do not go happily. I go with Smeagol whispering in my ear that everyone is trying to steal my precious and the rest of my life feels it.

What can be particularly frustrating about Smeagol Brain is that it causes me to be more sedentary. I mean, how do you not let your time and energy be used? You lay on your couch and watch Vampire Diaries, obviously. (Shameful, I know.) Well being sedentary too much can actually make Fibro symptoms worse. In fact there have been times where I let Smeagol take control and then lo and behold a migraine comes, or my personal favorite- nerve pain in my arms and legs come. Sigh. :/  Is anyone else seeing a pattern? It would seem that Smeagol's defense mechanisms aren't really doing their job, now are they? 

Now, onto the title of the post. Motion. I'm sure you all have heard the physics law that states "Things in motion tend to stay in motion."(This is Newton's first law of Motion, FYI.) Well I have to tell you, this law is not just applicable to a study of physics. This law is applicable to life. Mine and yours. 

I love teaching dance. I love the music, I love the excitement, and I love getting to run around with little kids and I love helping them learn something new. I feel happy, optimistic and dare I say it? Energized. I have loved teaching dance since I was a little girl, and I still love it. I also love yoga, doing and teaching it. It has similarities to teaching dance that I enjoy and it has differences that challenge me and inspire me. It is similar to teaching dance for me in that I always feel better after a class. It warms and wakes my heart and mind up. I have chosen my career path for many reasons, but the primary ones are: I want to do what I love and I need to fight the Smeagol Brain however I can.

I teach morning dance classes on Wednesdays and last Wednesday I had a horrible migraine so I wasn't able to teach.(Boo.) Last night as I went to bed I started to hear Smeagol's voice again. (I have to interject, that I do not have multiple personality disorder or Schitzophrenia, I promise.) I started to feel the worry about teaching my classes. The worries consisted of "I missed a week, what if that throws me off?" and "What if I get a migraine again and miss another week?" and finally "Is it worth it to get up early and go teach??? I should really just stay in bed and avoid it." When I awoke this morning those worries turned into fatigue. My bff. I slowly and stubbornly got out of bed when I just wanted to sleep and forget about my responsibilities. I even sat on the floor of the bathroom to do my makeup. (Ha! Yeah fight the man, Camille! You don't have to stand if you don't want to!) After I dragged my feet getting ready, I made it out the door and to the dance studio. I arrived early so while I was waiting I prepped the studio and myself. Opened the curtains, checked the roll book, got the sounds system booted up, put my dance shoes on, etc. 

Then it was time to start my first class and no one showed up. I  thought: Well I will have to move eventually, I might as well start now whether there are students here or not. So I went to the ballet barre and starting doing slowly some ballet. I did ballet until one student arrived late, and then the others trickled in, late as well. With the students there I can "fake it till I make it" and push through the class. That is what I did and we had class as usual. The other classes ran like they normally do. I finished my classes and after running around and moving there it was- I remembered what it felt like to be Smeagol free. 

There are many times when the fatigue catches up with me and there is danger of Smeagol Brain following suit. As stated earlier, I am used to the fatigue, I know how to take care of it, with rest. To take care of (or fight) the Smeagol Brain I need the opposite- I need motion. The rest is important for my well-being I really do need it, but what I also need is the ability to pull myself out of the rest. Even if it is a slow process, I need to initiate motion within me. My yoga instructor has been advising me lately to utilize restorative yoga as a way to fight the fatigue. It seems counter intuitive, but she knows what she is talking about. (She also has Fibromyaglia, Rheumatoid Arthritis and is a Breast Cancer survivor and she runs a successful business.) So there you go, my own epiphany along with the advice of Husband and my instructor and it looks like we are onto something good here. :)

Moral of the story, I can only do what I love in life if I start motion. Even if it is rolling out of bed and going into child's pose or cat/cow, it doesn't matter how it starts, as long as it starts. :) Objects in motion tend to stay in motion. 

xoxo

-Camille

P.S. In case you don't know who Smeagol is, he is a character in the series the Lord of the Rings, written by J.R.R. Tolkien. He becomes obsessed with the ring so much so that he turns into a different person; a greedy, paranoid, mess of a person. I only wish that he had found out how to fight his inner Smeagol tendencies too. Oh well, I guess the story would have been different if he had. 

As always, I am grateful for my opportunities to learn such things about myself and share them with you all. I include where I am receiving my yoga teacher training at the end of each post, as these posts are an important part of my yoga journey. I am receiving my yoga teacher training at Bodhi Yoga in Provo, Utah.  

Namaste.

http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/

 

Standing on the Shoulders Yoga Post

Standing on the Shoulders

This post may be shorter than the others, I just had a thought I wanted to share. There is a wonderful article about learning from other instructors on yoga journal.com I have a copy of the article in my Bodhi Yoga training manual. I read it when I got my manual but I decided to re-read it again recently. 

There has been some debate about whether yoga instructors should use techniques or approaches  they have seen other yoga instructors use. There are some people that say a yoga instructor should create their own practice and not "borrow" techniques from other instructors. While there are others who say that the only way to learn yoga is to teach the way you've seen instructors teach until you find your own way. 

I have been thinking about this concept recently and the article opened my eyes to how I feel about this. I think that the key to finding your voice as a yoga instructor is to use both trains of thought. There are so many wonderful things to understand about yoga and different instructors will speak in different ways to you and your soul. A life-long relationship with yoga is filled with different yoga instructors all along the way. (Thanks, Mom for pointing that out to me tonight.)  Yoga poses have been used for centuries and every yoga instructor had to learn from someone before them (except maybe the original yogis). If you take this train of thought and partner it with the importance of a personal yoga practice, I think that is where the yoga voice comes through. 

I think there is beauty and opportunity in using both avenues to build your yoga relationship. This epiphany came to me today and for the first time in a while, I feel excited to do my certification hours instead of nervous about doing them. I will keep you posted as to how it goes from now on. (Also, I'll give you an update on the Chakra meditation later this week.) 

xoxo

-Camille

P.S. I am getting my Yoga Teaching Training at Bodhi Yoga http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/

The Moon and Chakras

The Moon

This week I made plans to be "on the ball" with my yoga studies so that I could meet my goal of finishing my hours by the end of June. My plan for today (Friday) was to head to the dance studio after work and work on some dance technique and then do a personal yoga practice. (It is much easier to do a private practice when I am in a studio because there are no Gilmore Girls dvds there to distract me.) Work came and gone and I realized how tired I was. Then I went and ran some errands and then realized I was really, really tired so I did not make it to the dance studio. 

I came home and started to feel guilty about not meeting my goal today and guilt (similar to comparison) is a thief of joy. Long story short, I did not want to live in guilt world. I had noticed the moon shining big and bright earlier so I decided I was going to spend some quality time with the moon. 

I grabbed some tea, a blanket and sat on my porch and stared at the moon. (I'm sure my neighbors thought I was crazy, oh well.) I stared at the moon and let the breeze blow the hair off my face. I stared at the moon and wondered what the moon looks like from the other side. I felt the brightness of the moon make my heart feel happy. I wondered if God enjoys the way the moon looks. I let the light of the moon make me feel alive again. I finished my moon time and felt as though I had come out of Savasana. 

My problems didn't magically go away, but it was very nice to feel free of them for a while. 

Now that I am done with my touchy-feely, philosophy type stuff. Why did I bring up my experience with the moon? A) Because I am an extrovert and I talk/type through all of my thoughts and B) Because there actually is a point! The moon's light is a healing light. In modern society we don't get enough natural light. We spend our days at a computer, on our phones, in florescent lighting, and watching TV, etc. Our poor eyes! Because of this we get headaches, don't sleep well and frankly just have messed up bodies. Whenever we can expose our bodies to natural light we can help balance out all the phony light. There are actually lots of important reasons to expose yourself to natural light. (If you want to learn more I can give you more information on how awesome the moon light is, but for the sake of brevity I won't give it here.)  

After my experience with the moon I felt refreshed and less like someone who isn't reaching their goals and more like someone who did something good for herself. I am finding that the answers I am looking for in life are not to be found by keeping myself busy there are to be found in slowing down and clearing my mind. So this experience was helpful in reminding me of how important it is to do that. 

My moon time was a success. :)

Last night I did a yoga study of the 7 body center Chakras and I decided that I am going to spend a week working on each Chakra. I will let you know how that goes. 

xoxo

-Camille

I am receiving my yoga training at Bodhi yoga: www.gobodhiyoga.com

Yoga Post # 7 Gratitude

Gratitude

Tonight I taught my Tuesday night yoga class.  I spend a lot of my day Tuesdays being nervous about teaching. At my last Teacher Training Session (@ Bodhi yoga) the instructor talked about feeling nervous when teaching. It was so what I needed to hear. There were many things that she said that addressed what I was feeling but I hadn't said it out-loud. She said that yoga is what will calm them, help them and give them the goodness they seek in their life and we are just guides to their personal yoga practice. I've heard her say that before and it continues to speak to me, but this week I realized how I could apply it. 

From many discussions with the infamous Husband (and with my Mother, and with my close friend) I have learned that I am putting a lot of pressure on myself with my yoga classes. Husband calls it "trying to re-invent the wheel for every class." I've found that I feel some pressure to convince my students of the wonderful, passionate relationship that they will have with yoga and how it will change their lives, and I feel pressure to convey that message in a one hour class. (Even as I am typing this, I am realizing how silly that sounds.) I know that I have good intentions because yoga really has been an amazing resource for my inner peace, but just like any other good thing (hint, hint missionary work) I can not force it on people. People will have to find their relationship with yoga on their own, I can only offer opportunities. 

Tonight's class I felt my usual nervousness but I wanted to move forward. I started class aware of why I was nervous but not really sure how to help it, so I decided to focus on the flow of the class and hope for the best. While doing the flow my nerves calmed little by little. During Prasarita pose (Straddle Forward Fold) I caught my reflection in the mirror. (An odd reflection of my bum with my legs out to the side, but inspiration comes in odd ways sometimes.) What I saw was my leg muscles flexed and engaged and I saw my head upside down pushed onto my yoga block. This image though silly, filled me with gratitude. I suddenly remembered my personal yoga journey and I gave myself permission to enjoy a yoga moment. I felt grateful for my working muscles and I felt grateful for the energy that was flowing throughout my body. I felt like everything was going to be okay, for just a moment. 

My topic of this post is titled "Gratitude" because I think that I am letting my fears overshadow my blessings in my thoughts and this is making me unhappy. I haven't rid myself of the perfectionist that wants things to be black and white and wants all  of my yoga students to love  yoga but I do think that being more grateful will help.  This next week I am going to incorporate more gratitude into my thoughts about yoga (and everything else in my life) and next week I will let you know how it went. I am only a student myself, and I think I need to remember that. 

Namaste'

-Camille 

I am going through my yoga training @ bodhi yoga www.gobodhiyoga.com

yoga post # 6 Ayurveda!

This week's yoga post will be about the study of Ayurveda. : ) 

Ayurveda the "Science of Life"

Ayurveda is an ancient healing system of India. The study of Ayurveda is the study of what governs your life. There are 3 main forces in Ayurveda: Life, Light and Love. The three forces present themselves in nature (air, fire and water/earth) and they present themselves within our souls and personalities. The governing forces that present themselves in our personalities are called "Doshas". There are 3 main Doshas and we all have a combination of the three Doshas but there is usually a main Dosha. (A way it makes sense to me to understand the Doshas is to think of them as body and personality types.) The 3 Doshas are Vata (air/space), Pitta (fire) and Kapha (earth/water). 

 At the March yoga training weekend we spent some time talking about Doshas and how we can apply them in our own lives and how we can apply them to our students. After learning more about how each Dosha represents itself in people, we learned that most people have their primary Dosha. All 3 can still be present in a person, but there is a Dosha that is strongest in them. The goal  is to have your Doshas in balance, meaning your dominant Dosha is working well with the other Doshas to help you feel comfortable in your own skin. 

I found that I actually am a tri-Dosha, meaning that I don't necessarily have a dominant Dosha that represents itself in me, I have all three. I took a quiz to determine what my Dosha was and I received comparable scores for all 3 Doshas. At first, this was frustrating to me because I thought "How can I balance my primary Dosha if they all  are my primary Dosha???" My yoga instructor helped me to understand that it actually is a blessing to be a tri-Dosha because I can empathize with the other Doshas and be a liason. Which I have to admit is pretty cool. 

Maybe I will go into depth about Doshas on a later post, but for now just know that you are working with a "Liason" so I've got your back  no matter your primary Dosha. ;) 

This past yoga training weekend was as usual so helpful for me in my yoga path right now. I have questions and insecurities about my teaching and about my voice as an instructor and these weekends always help me to answer those questions. This past weekend I had questions answered that I didn't even vocalize, so I know I wasn't the only one feeling nervous. The big message I got from the weekend is that to find my voice and message as an instructor I and most importantly to understand myself, I need to take time to do my personal practice. Even if my personal practice is soely breath work or if it is 10 minutes of meditation, my personal practice is going to help me understand what I like teaching at this time in my life. Ohhhh personal reflection, isn't that the answer to a lot of life's problems? I feel like that has been a prominent theme in many of my epiphanies or answers to prayers. I guess that means I should try to do it then, huh?

Till next time blog world!

XoXo

-Cami 

P.S. I am receiving my yoga knowledge and experiences from Bodhi yoga www.gobodhiyoga.com

Yoga Post #5

This post will be brief, because this week has been hectic!

Progress on My Business Journey

This week I not only taught my second week of my yoga class at the dance studio, I also got my first payment! (Very exciting, I almost wanted to frame the check instead of cashing it, almost.)

I also decided it is time to officially start advertising and putting myself out there. (Scary!) Husband being the sweet, supportive man he is, has been brainstorming with me on ways to advertise and when we can't sleep at night he pokes my shoulder and says "Babe, we could do this, this and this" or "Babe, I have a great idea about yoga, do you want to hear it??" He is such a good partner in so many ways. I could go on and on about how awesome he is, but I'll stay focused and just let you imagine his awesomeness. :) 

I have been thinking about what styles of yoga I want to teach and what I want my yoga voice to be. Fortunately, the training program I am in is training me in all styles of yoga so that I will be ready for whatever comes to me. What I have been thinking lately is that I want to continue teaching asana style, I want to prepare now and in the next few months be ready to teach pre-natal yoga and I want to do private therapeutic yoga sessions. Having worked in the Physical Therapy world for years and having almost got into the Occupational Therapy world I have a special place in my heart and my brain for therapy. There are few things worse than feeling like your body is your worst enemy and if I could help a fraction of the people experiencing that feel better, my job would be a success. 

Those are the styles I have been drawn to lately, but really the possibilities are endless. I think the reasons I am drawn to those specific styles right now is because I already have things in the works for these three styles, sometimes it is all about timing. 

Here are the times I am teaching: 

Tuesdays 7:15 @Dansation 1799 N. State St Orem, UT  ($8 a class!) All levels welcome!

Private Sessions by appointment ($15 for an individual session, $5 additional for each person added) 

If you have any questions about classes or scheduling here is my yoga email : loveyogawithcamille@gmail.com 

Namaste,

-Camille

P.S. I am receiving my teacher certification through Bodhi Yoga http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/

Yoga Post # 4 (1st class!)

This is the first week of March so my yoga class began this week!!
I was surprised by how nervous I was, which is weird because I  love teaching yoga! When I have taught in the past it was for family, friends or for community things and those I volunteered to do. This class is an actual, weekly, class that people pay for. But of course, because people are paying for the class I feel pressure to deliver something worth their money. I let the money make me feel like I have to meet some sort of expectation, which isn't really fair to myself because what people get out of yoga classes is the experience of yoga, yoga is the real teacher I am just a guide. (My instructor says that)

The flow of the class tonight was okay, but I could feel my nervousness throwing me off. After feeling frustrated by that I decided that while the class was in Savasana I was going to ponder and "allow myself to be a beginner" as my instructor says. So that is what I did. I told myself "yes you are nervous, don 't let it overpower you, but also just breath and let it finish it's course" So I let myself just breath it out. While I was doing that I remembered that I was nervous for my first dance classes too. Then I got used to the flow of the class and my nervousness went away. I think I need to allow myself to be a beginner more in my life. I don't have to know everything right now.  In yoga, in dance or in life.

Savasana you save me again. Next week will be better and the week after that will be better than that. :) I am a beginner learning how to "guide" people to their own yoga experience.

Thanks for allowing me to sort though my thoughts in this blog. :)

For those of you who are wondering, my class is Tuesdays @ 7:15pm
 @ Dansation 1799 N. State St Orem, UT 84057.

Til' Next Week!

-Camille

I am getting my yoga instructor training at Bodhi Yoga.
http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/

Yoga Post # 3

It is almost the end of February and my first yoga class begins next week. I am having the anticipation anxiety mixed with excitement and nervousness all at once. I have been teaching yoga for a while now but this class will be the first one that isn't free! For some reason, because people are paying for the class I feel an obligation to make the class "worth their money". My yoga instructor frequently says "Allow yourself to be new" which I am trying to do right now.

When I taught my first dance class I was nervous and didn't know what to expect. Now I don't feel such anxiety about my classes as they come each week. I know this will be same for my yoga classes, it's just a matter of me getting used to it.

We finished our session 2 of our group Yoga Training last weekend and the training sessions always make me feel better. I feel refreshed and motivated to work on my yoga stuff. We each had to practice teaching to the group so that helped me to feel prepared too.

For my practice teaching I led the group through some meditation and Savasana. It was great. I felt so nervous about teaching my group but the mediation helped me feel calm and then I loved leading them through Savasana.

Because I will only have an hour for each class I've decided I'm going to do a modified version of the Bodhiflow (an Asana practice I have learned in my studies so far). What we will do is begin with some basic breath work (I want them to experience it but I don't want to overwhelm them) to warm the tissues then we will work through Tier 1 of the Bodhiflow. I think we will work through it 2-3 times to get a feel for it. From there we will either move on to Tier 2 of the flow or we will focus on lengthening and growing in specific poses. This will all depend on the level/ desire of the students. Then we will go into meditation and savasana.

Seeing it all typed out helps me to feel better about teaching the class, but I still want it to be a good experience for the students. My yoga instructor says that she is not the great yoga instructor, it is that she is a guide to our personal yoga experiences. She says it is yoga that makes us feel so good, not her. I need to remember that. I think it would be helpful if I thought of the class format and meditated on the specific poses and focuses.

I guess that is all I can do right now, meditate on it and see how it goes and then go from there.

Thanks for listening blog readers.

-Camille

I am doing my Yoga Teacher Training at Bodhi Yoga
 http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/

The Breath of Life (Yoga Blog entry #2)

My focus this week is on the breath. 

I have a lingering cold that has taken over my precious ability to breathe through my nose so I think that is why breath is on my mind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. :) 

Pranayama is the yoga practice of breath work. Pranayama loosely translated means "to control life force", so as you are practicing the different breathing techniques you are sending life force throughout the body. When you are feeling sick or low energy it is because your life force is low. I've been thinking about my personal life force a lot lately. I've been thinking about how much life force I am giving myself and how much I am using in my day to day habits. Some things that are in my routine use my life force but are important; other habits are really just wasting it. 

I remember a specific time where I was struggling with my feelings of frustration and anger towards a person, who for some reason always got under my skin. The feelings of frustration and anger colored much more than my sole interactions with this person. I carried that anger with me and I shared it with everyone who would listen. I remember distinctly when someone I trust finally stopped me as I was complaining about this person. They said: "I know you feel angry, but this person most likely isn't going to stop pushing your buttons, you can not change their behavior, so the only way to get past this is to put less mental energy towards it, try to stop thinking about it." 

At the time I thought "How do you stop thinking about something that is so important?" That is when I realized it really wasn't important. It wasn't helping me reach my goals, and it definitely wasn't helping me be happier. So I decided to train myself (over a period of time) to think of those negative/angry thoughts as a waste of my energy. The anger inside of me lessened and eventually I could see this person as just another person with struggles and problems like the rest of us. 

What does this have to do with breath? Or Pranayama? Well, I am experiencing deja'vu as I am finding myself needlessly frustrated with a person I have to see on a regular basis again. When I allow myself to be frustrated with this person I feel exhausted. I feel as though I have encountered an energy vampire. (My boss coined that term, and I think it is very fitting.) In my life outside of the interactions with this person my time is filled! It is filled with new, awesome experiences that I am excited and grateful to have. These new experiences (like many changes in life) require use of my energy, which itself is not a bad thing. It is a blessing I think, to have work to do. However, if my energy is all used up or sucked away by the vampire then I don't have energy to offer to my life experiences. Something must be done. 

The advice of that trusted friend of associating the reactive thoughts as not worth my time, is wonderful! I really see success when I change my thoughts that way and I would recommend it to anyone struggling with similar issues. What I also would recommend is to add more breath work into your life. (For the record, I am recommending this to myself as well) My yoga instructor says that when she is depressed she does a yoga practice that is solely breath work each day and her body uses the breath to re-energize. I have experienced that re-energizing effect of breath in the past also and now would be a great time to incorporate more breath in my life again. 

Breath work can be a focused, meditative time with specific breaths such as : Ujayii, Three part breath, Nadi Sodhana(alternating nostril breath), etc. Or breath work can be adapted to be done anywhere at anytime. or Example: A simple three part breath while sitting in traffic or a calming exhale focused breath while in bed. Whatever works best for you. 

Here are ways that I would like to do breath work more, so that my energy is being filled and used in a healthy way. 

As vampire approaches me I begin my breath work and remember that I do not have to react. I can't control this person, but I can control my breath and my thoughts. Suddenly, an interaction that used to suck my energy and cause me to feel anxious has come and gone and I am no longer affected by it. 

As my dance instructor is stretching my leg higher than it has been in a looooooong time I can breath and think about how amazing the human body is, and the stretch becomes less painful and more of a gift. 

As my students are wound up in dance class and are not focusing I can breath and remember what it was like to be 4 years old and full of life. 

As my sink overflows with dishes I can cry and run away or I can breath and begin working on them, letting the hot water calm me.

As my body or my mind feels exhausted I can sit in a quiet place and breath, remembering that my rest is just as important as my work. 

 This is why we call it the breath of life. The breath is now and the breath is control. Which is awesome. 

Breath more this week!

xoxo

-Cami

I am doing my yoga teacher training at Bodhi Yoga http://www.gobodhiyoga.com/ 

Update on things going on in my life!

Friends!

I can't believe that 1.It is 2014 and 2.It is February already!

As Earl Nightingale said  "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, the time will pass anyway." I think this is the theme of this blog post: Working on my dreams because the time will pass anyway, so I might as well be growing towards something I love. :)

Okay, so let's get down to business. As you readers can tell from my previous posts, I started this blog so that I could document my 60 day challenge and any other endeavors I embark on to help with my Fibromyalgia symptoms. The 60 day challenge was a success. I did not finish all 60 days, but I did pull myself out of my depression funk. The real reason of the challenge was to teach myself to do that, take care of myself until I can pull myself out and see the light again. So here I am months later, working towards something I care about and taking care of myself in the process and you blog readers get to hear about it :)


Since I decided to actually publicize this blog entry I will explain some things to my family and friends who have recently asked about my plans. My plan for a long time was to go to Grad School to study Occupational Therapy. I finished my undergraduate degree (finally!) and the time came to take the awful GRE and to apply to Occupational Therapy programs. This is when my "feeling" side of me (I make decisions based on feelings, I am an ENFJ, in case you were wondering.) started to make itself known. I felt not only uneasy, but not happy about applying to grad schools. At first I thought it was my anxiety tricking me (like it can sometimes) but after months of pondering, praying, talking with Husband and pondering some more I realized that it was not an anxiety trick. It was a real feeling to listen to. Well, eventually I decided not to go to grad school. I felt a swarm of relief wash over me for a second and then I felt nervous again that I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. Again I began the pondering, experimenting, praying, talking with Husband, talking with friends and all the soul searching I could muster. After all this, alas! I came to my path. Here it is:

I wanted to do dance therapy in my Occupational Therapy practice and I also wanted to own my own dance studio. I had fallen in love with yoga years ago, when my health required me to start from the ground and work my way up physically. I realized I didn't want to wait to start working on my dreams until I had finished grad school. I wanted to incorporate the things I love now.

So I decided to get certified to teach yoga and to start teaching dance, so I could begin learning and start somewhere.

After researching National Yoga Alliance approved teacher certification programs available to me in my area I found the best program I could. I met the owner of the program and right away I knew that this program would not only help me work towards my dreams but it would also open many other doors for me. I started the program in January of this year and it has already taken over my life! My Father-in-Law asked me the other day if I am just as busy as I was in college and I responded "Yes, maybe even more, but being busy working on something I care about is way better than working just for the sake of working." I am loving what I am experiencing and learning so far in this program.

I am getting my yoga teacher certification from Bodhi Yoga www.gobodhiyoga.com.

I am learning so much about the body, mind and spirit and how they can all work together for our good. :) In my program I am required to document what I learn so sometimes I will do that here. :) I am also required to work on my own yoga practice as well as begin my teaching and hands on adjusting. Husband has been very lucky because everything I learn I practice on him, so he is getting more relaxed by the day. 

In addition to my yoga teacher training I also have found a dance teaching job! It happened so quickly, I saw the job opening posted online and I found myself emailing the studio owner right away. (without even taking days to ponder, people!) I was nervous but I felt like I needed to try. Like I said before, the time would pass anyway, so I might as well get started. I met the studio owner and again I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. (Both experiences were tender mercies.) She offered me the job and I took it! I currently teach the Intro I class (2-3 year olds) and the Intro II class (3-4 year olds). I love it! It is dance with out all the drama, and with ALL the fun. It pushes me weekly, it keeps me on my toes, and I can't deny the feeling of joy I get from teaching these girls. 

The studio I teach dance at is called dansation. www.briannebennettdansation.org

So there you go! Those are the updates. :) I am grateful & honored to be able to work and learn in areas I love.

I have had some questions about when & where I teach yoga, so here is the information: 

Starting either mid February or beg. March:  Tuesdays @ 7:15 Yoga @ Dansation (1799 N State S Orem, UT) $8 drop in rate and if you buy 8 classes $6 per class 

For private sessions I usually do those @ Bodhi Yoga (2230 N. University Pkwy Ste 2E Provo, UT) or I can do those at your home if you wish. Email me for availability & prices.  monet.cami@gmail.com 

Eventually when I muster up the courage I will make a Facebook with my schedule, prices, etc. The more training I get the more classes will be added! 

Thanks for reading as I excitedly work towards my dream! 

xoxo Camille