Hello interweb people!
As you can tell I took a hiatus from the blog for a bit. It started out innocent with me forgetting while I was out of town, and then turned into me being worried that I made a mistake, to me avoiding it for a bit.
Well I am back. I have decided that I want to keep on with this idea. I also have decided to head it in a different direction so that it can be less of a source of guilt for me and more of a source of peace. I will let you know the changes as soon as I have them panned out in my head, but I wanted to make an entry tonight and show myself that I can do things even if I don't have them fully figured out yet. :)
What I do want to say in this post is this:
1) I have been accepted to a Yoga teacher training program in January. I am so excited!
2) My counselor has recommended that I start taking anti-anxiety medication. I have decided to start by trying an herbal remedy to see if that works before I go to the pharmaceuticals. I started taking it last Saturday and I will keep you updated on that.
3) I did do things while I wasn't blogging, and surprisingly I liked being able to do them with out having to be accountable to someone about them (even if that someone is myself). This is why I am pondering some things for the blog/challenge that may make my process more calm.
4) I don't have to have an "important" reason for this number. Nor do I have to have a certain amount of numbers. This blog is for me and because it is for me, my thoughts don't have to be organized or have a point all the time. I could just have this entry tonight solely to feel myself doing it again.
5) Gratitude is huge. I'm a big fan of gratitude and positive thinking and I want to welcome them back into my life.
I just wanted to rejoin the blogging world and let myself know that I can do this however I want, and let you all know that I'll be here doing my thing again.
-Cami
Monday, October 28, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Day 17/18 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
This is for day 17 & 18
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Day 17:
Went okay.
I slept in but was still able to get ready for work and be on time for work
At work I worked on the plan for YWs that night
I did not eat enough meals yesterday, I felt hungry when I went to bed but I didn't want the food to keep me awake.
I read conference talks
I went to YWs
I kept to my elimination diet. (No corn, No dairy, No soy, No HFCS)
I went to bed on time.
(Sorry I am tired so yesterday is a bit foggy.)
Day 18:
Today went well. I woke up @ 7:30 and took Husband to work. (it is so much easier to get up when there is somewhere I have to be. When I don't have to be anywhere it is difficult to convince myself of that.)
I finished watching a TV show that is on Netflix that I have been using as an avoidance tool. My avoidance of the things that I want to do or that I feel would be good for me, is a behavior that won't magically go away because there are no more episodes of that show to watch, but at least I will have a couple of days before I move onto the next tool.
I went to counseling today.
I cleaned the whole apartment.
I packed for our trip this weekend.
I called and sorted out an issue with a bill.
I DID YOGA!!! (I just got done doing it actually, and this particular practice was great. HARD, but great. I felt so alive afterwards.)
I bathed today.
I did not read scriptures or watch a talk and honestly, I missed it.
I will wash my face and brush my teeth tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I feel great. : )
How do you feel mentally?
I also feel great mentally. I was having a hard time earlier, in fact I was not in a great place for most of the day. :( I feel much better now.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel hopeful. I will admit that today I felt somewhat hopeless. My counselor recommended I find anxiety medication (which I'm okay with that suggestion) but I just felt frustrated all day afterwards. I was getting mad at myself for the things I haven't done this week and the anger was making me not want to do them today either. It's a weird cycle, but it happens often. It's like I am sticking it to myself by not doing things that are good for me. : / I also worry about the future because I get down on myself when I don't accomplish what I want to. I feel like if I can't accomplish what I want to in my days now how will I ever do the bigger things I want to? Like teach yoga, or start up a studio, or help people? After my bath and yoga and after my headache went away I felt better. It was helpful that my yoga practice was hard today because even though I stumbled I still felt like it was a worthwhile accomplishment and that helped me to ease up off myself.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I like the challenge. I think what I have learned this week is that the spiritual stuff gives me help more than I realize and the physical stuff is pretty essential. I feel like if I could be more consistent with those things next week then the rest of the challenge will fall into place. I would love to not get in my own way of happiness. I'm working on that. : )
Goodnight!
Xoxo!
This is for day 17 & 18
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Day 17:
Went okay.
I slept in but was still able to get ready for work and be on time for work
At work I worked on the plan for YWs that night
I did not eat enough meals yesterday, I felt hungry when I went to bed but I didn't want the food to keep me awake.
I read conference talks
I went to YWs
I kept to my elimination diet. (No corn, No dairy, No soy, No HFCS)
I went to bed on time.
(Sorry I am tired so yesterday is a bit foggy.)
Day 18:
Today went well. I woke up @ 7:30 and took Husband to work. (it is so much easier to get up when there is somewhere I have to be. When I don't have to be anywhere it is difficult to convince myself of that.)
I finished watching a TV show that is on Netflix that I have been using as an avoidance tool. My avoidance of the things that I want to do or that I feel would be good for me, is a behavior that won't magically go away because there are no more episodes of that show to watch, but at least I will have a couple of days before I move onto the next tool.
I went to counseling today.
I cleaned the whole apartment.
I packed for our trip this weekend.
I called and sorted out an issue with a bill.
I DID YOGA!!! (I just got done doing it actually, and this particular practice was great. HARD, but great. I felt so alive afterwards.)
I bathed today.
I did not read scriptures or watch a talk and honestly, I missed it.
I will wash my face and brush my teeth tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I feel great. : )
How do you feel mentally?
I also feel great mentally. I was having a hard time earlier, in fact I was not in a great place for most of the day. :( I feel much better now.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel hopeful. I will admit that today I felt somewhat hopeless. My counselor recommended I find anxiety medication (which I'm okay with that suggestion) but I just felt frustrated all day afterwards. I was getting mad at myself for the things I haven't done this week and the anger was making me not want to do them today either. It's a weird cycle, but it happens often. It's like I am sticking it to myself by not doing things that are good for me. : / I also worry about the future because I get down on myself when I don't accomplish what I want to. I feel like if I can't accomplish what I want to in my days now how will I ever do the bigger things I want to? Like teach yoga, or start up a studio, or help people? After my bath and yoga and after my headache went away I felt better. It was helpful that my yoga practice was hard today because even though I stumbled I still felt like it was a worthwhile accomplishment and that helped me to ease up off myself.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I like the challenge. I think what I have learned this week is that the spiritual stuff gives me help more than I realize and the physical stuff is pretty essential. I feel like if I could be more consistent with those things next week then the rest of the challenge will fall into place. I would love to not get in my own way of happiness. I'm working on that. : )
Goodnight!
Xoxo!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Day 16 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is Day 16!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today good. I will admit that there were some stumbling blocks today and some frustration, but I have to recognize that today was actually good.
I slept in till 10, which was a stumbling block, but I tried to press forward.
I watched a General Conference Talk and I said a prayer this morning
I did my laundry and the dishes
I took a test for one of my classes. (It actually took longer than I thought it would.) I'm glad I got that done today because it's due Friday and Friday we are going out of town.
I kept an eating log and I did okay on the elimination diet. (Update on that: I've decided to change it to no corn, no dairy, no soy. I already am gluten free, but these things are said to make auto-immune disorder symptoms worse. So for now I'm talking those out. Which shouldn't be that hard since I've but somewhat doing it anyway.) There was corn in my vegetable mix today though. : /
I ate 3+ meals today.
How do you feel physically?
I feel tired. It is time for my sleep now.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good now. I felt frustrated and anxious earlier, but after a talk with Husband I feel better.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel okay. Kind of even-keel. This is probably the tiredness speaking.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
As mentioned before, I felt frustrated earlier today. I did what I was hoping to in the morning, (even after a slow wake up, which I let myself be frustrated about.) I also accomplished a big task today of taking my test. That is a big load off of this week's stresses. I just didn't do everything I wanted to today, not because of lack of time, but because it was hard to will myself to do some of it. I was venting to Husband and he had an epiphany. He said "You go to work when you are supposed to go to work. When you have work deadlines you get them done. While you are at work you do work, because you know you are supposed to. With things that don't have a deadline or that nobody is watching over you to make sure you do them it is super hard to will yourself to do ALL of them. It isn't that you don't have willpower, it's that you're human. You do have willpower because you do get stuff done, you're human because you don't get everything done every day." I really appreciated that because I think that is why I get frustrated with myself when I don't finish my list. I think on some level that I don't have willpower. I think I needed to hear that I do have willpower because I am doing hard things, that no one but myself is requiring of me. I didn't make it to my yoga today, but after talking with Husband I've decided that that is okay. I did get things done today. Tomorrow I can do yoga.
Goodnight!
_Camille
Today is Day 16!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today good. I will admit that there were some stumbling blocks today and some frustration, but I have to recognize that today was actually good.
I slept in till 10, which was a stumbling block, but I tried to press forward.
I watched a General Conference Talk and I said a prayer this morning
I did my laundry and the dishes
I took a test for one of my classes. (It actually took longer than I thought it would.) I'm glad I got that done today because it's due Friday and Friday we are going out of town.
I kept an eating log and I did okay on the elimination diet. (Update on that: I've decided to change it to no corn, no dairy, no soy. I already am gluten free, but these things are said to make auto-immune disorder symptoms worse. So for now I'm talking those out. Which shouldn't be that hard since I've but somewhat doing it anyway.) There was corn in my vegetable mix today though. : /
I ate 3+ meals today.
How do you feel physically?
I feel tired. It is time for my sleep now.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good now. I felt frustrated and anxious earlier, but after a talk with Husband I feel better.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel okay. Kind of even-keel. This is probably the tiredness speaking.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
As mentioned before, I felt frustrated earlier today. I did what I was hoping to in the morning, (even after a slow wake up, which I let myself be frustrated about.) I also accomplished a big task today of taking my test. That is a big load off of this week's stresses. I just didn't do everything I wanted to today, not because of lack of time, but because it was hard to will myself to do some of it. I was venting to Husband and he had an epiphany. He said "You go to work when you are supposed to go to work. When you have work deadlines you get them done. While you are at work you do work, because you know you are supposed to. With things that don't have a deadline or that nobody is watching over you to make sure you do them it is super hard to will yourself to do ALL of them. It isn't that you don't have willpower, it's that you're human. You do have willpower because you do get stuff done, you're human because you don't get everything done every day." I really appreciated that because I think that is why I get frustrated with myself when I don't finish my list. I think on some level that I don't have willpower. I think I needed to hear that I do have willpower because I am doing hard things, that no one but myself is requiring of me. I didn't make it to my yoga today, but after talking with Husband I've decided that that is okay. I did get things done today. Tomorrow I can do yoga.
Goodnight!
_Camille
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day 15 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is Day 15!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great! I started implementing the changes and so far I like them. : )
I got up and watched a talk from General Conference (One that I missed) this morning and I actually prayed. (My prayers are usually in bed, as a last minute thought.) Praying during the day was nice. I felt relieved and like I had less burdens to carry today. : )
I did the daily chores plus cleaned up the dinner mess from the other day.
I ate 3 meals today!
I kept an eating log. : )
I did not eat any candy!
I brushed my teeth this morning and I will tonight
I will wash my face too.
I did yoga today! I did one of the routines I had planned for today. : )
I did some young women prep today. : )
I did schoolwork for an hour today. : )
I brushed my hair today and I did my hair and make up today.
I made a meal plan and made dinner tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. I've noticed that around 9:00 I start to feel really tired. Maybe I should take that into consideration and maybe start getting ready for bed at that time... Who knows?
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good. Today was good. My mind felt better today. I just took the weekly progress photos, so of course that makes me anxious. I'm trying to fight it though.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel a little vulnerable with my weekly progress photos. I don't feel anger or anxiety about other things though, so I think this is still progress.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I feel good about the challenge. The modifications went well today. I think the key is to continually find things to motivate me AND sustain me. I think I need the peace and the fire, if that makes sense. Well onto tomorrow then right?
Today is Day 15!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great! I started implementing the changes and so far I like them. : )
I got up and watched a talk from General Conference (One that I missed) this morning and I actually prayed. (My prayers are usually in bed, as a last minute thought.) Praying during the day was nice. I felt relieved and like I had less burdens to carry today. : )
I did the daily chores plus cleaned up the dinner mess from the other day.
I ate 3 meals today!
I kept an eating log. : )
I did not eat any candy!
I brushed my teeth this morning and I will tonight
I will wash my face too.
I did yoga today! I did one of the routines I had planned for today. : )
I did some young women prep today. : )
I did schoolwork for an hour today. : )
I brushed my hair today and I did my hair and make up today.
I made a meal plan and made dinner tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. I've noticed that around 9:00 I start to feel really tired. Maybe I should take that into consideration and maybe start getting ready for bed at that time... Who knows?
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good. Today was good. My mind felt better today. I just took the weekly progress photos, so of course that makes me anxious. I'm trying to fight it though.
How do you feel emotionally?
I feel a little vulnerable with my weekly progress photos. I don't feel anger or anxiety about other things though, so I think this is still progress.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I feel good about the challenge. The modifications went well today. I think the key is to continually find things to motivate me AND sustain me. I think I need the peace and the fire, if that makes sense. Well onto tomorrow then right?
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Day 14 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is Day 14! I've finished Week 1 & 2!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great. Today was the second day of the semi-anual General Conference I mentioned in last night's post, which meant more talks from men of God who bring warmth and love to my heart. I didn't mention it on my last post but here is a link that will have all the talks either in video or in text form if anyone is interested. (That is if anyone but my mom is actually reading my blog.) The link is www.lds.org
I actually got up when I intended to this morning! It was hard, but we were going to be late to a breakfast at my Uncle's house if I didn't. It wasn't 7:30, which is the time I would like to get up on weekdays (especially when I take Husband to work) but I still feel like it was a victory. I find it ESPECIALLY challenging to get up at a time that early on the weekends. I've been told that going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time each day (even on the weekends) will be beneficial to me, I just haven't gotten there yet. Baby steps.
I brushed my teeth and I will brush them before bed too. : )
I brushed my hair.
I ate at least 3 meals today, I pigged out. (It was so delicious!)
I listened to General Conference which counts as reading scriptures, because it is getting counsel from modern day Prophets. : )
I washed my face last night. Oh and on that note the yoga I did last night was GREAT! It was a yoga/strength training combo and because the strength training part was not intense it was perfect. Just what I felt like I needed. : )
I prepped for Young Women's lessons today. (I need to keep prepping tomorrow.)
I am doing my daily journal now, I will wash my face and I will pray tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I actually feel pretty good physically. I've decided I want to be more specific with my physical symptoms in this journal so that I can track them better. So with that thought in mind: I have been having restless legs a lot lately! I think it is a combination of me sitting a lot and the blood not flowing through my body enough and of my nerves just acting out. What I did today was stretch and try to calm down my shins or calf muscles when I feel the sensation coming. This helped. Also, I feel like my eating habits are making my stomach feel angry. I am either not eating enough or eating too much so I want to work on that. Besides that I feel good.
How do you feel mentally?
Mentally, I feel good. I actually took the time and thought about what changes I could make to the challenge so that it would not intimidate me and so that it would have the potential to flow better and feel more successful so because of that, I feel good. My mind feels clear.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I also feel good. Like I mentioned yesterday, it is so important for my personal cup to be filled on all measures. Having my personal spiritual cup be filled over these two days has been very helpful. It energizes me and motivates me to fill my other cups and keep pressing forward. Also I felt that some of the talks that were given were given specifically to me and my needs. This was SO encouraging. It was like I finally had someone saying: what I'm going through is real, it is difficult, but there are servants of the Lord rooting for me, which to me means the Lord is rooting for me. It was very cleansing for my heart to hear these things.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are: I feel a new resolve to move forward. I made my 3 yoga times per week minimum last night and I sat down and thought about the changes/modifications I want to make. Those actions helped me to feel better about the Challenge in general and to feel that I deserve my weekly prize. I'm excited for tomorrow because I can continue with what is working and I can work in some new ways to approach the goals. : )
Here are the changes:
Today is Day 14! I've finished Week 1 & 2!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great. Today was the second day of the semi-anual General Conference I mentioned in last night's post, which meant more talks from men of God who bring warmth and love to my heart. I didn't mention it on my last post but here is a link that will have all the talks either in video or in text form if anyone is interested. (That is if anyone but my mom is actually reading my blog.) The link is www.lds.org
I actually got up when I intended to this morning! It was hard, but we were going to be late to a breakfast at my Uncle's house if I didn't. It wasn't 7:30, which is the time I would like to get up on weekdays (especially when I take Husband to work) but I still feel like it was a victory. I find it ESPECIALLY challenging to get up at a time that early on the weekends. I've been told that going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time each day (even on the weekends) will be beneficial to me, I just haven't gotten there yet. Baby steps.
I brushed my teeth and I will brush them before bed too. : )
I brushed my hair.
I ate at least 3 meals today, I pigged out. (It was so delicious!)
I listened to General Conference which counts as reading scriptures, because it is getting counsel from modern day Prophets. : )
I washed my face last night. Oh and on that note the yoga I did last night was GREAT! It was a yoga/strength training combo and because the strength training part was not intense it was perfect. Just what I felt like I needed. : )
I prepped for Young Women's lessons today. (I need to keep prepping tomorrow.)
I am doing my daily journal now, I will wash my face and I will pray tonight.
How do you feel physically?
I actually feel pretty good physically. I've decided I want to be more specific with my physical symptoms in this journal so that I can track them better. So with that thought in mind: I have been having restless legs a lot lately! I think it is a combination of me sitting a lot and the blood not flowing through my body enough and of my nerves just acting out. What I did today was stretch and try to calm down my shins or calf muscles when I feel the sensation coming. This helped. Also, I feel like my eating habits are making my stomach feel angry. I am either not eating enough or eating too much so I want to work on that. Besides that I feel good.
How do you feel mentally?
Mentally, I feel good. I actually took the time and thought about what changes I could make to the challenge so that it would not intimidate me and so that it would have the potential to flow better and feel more successful so because of that, I feel good. My mind feels clear.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I also feel good. Like I mentioned yesterday, it is so important for my personal cup to be filled on all measures. Having my personal spiritual cup be filled over these two days has been very helpful. It energizes me and motivates me to fill my other cups and keep pressing forward. Also I felt that some of the talks that were given were given specifically to me and my needs. This was SO encouraging. It was like I finally had someone saying: what I'm going through is real, it is difficult, but there are servants of the Lord rooting for me, which to me means the Lord is rooting for me. It was very cleansing for my heart to hear these things.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are: I feel a new resolve to move forward. I made my 3 yoga times per week minimum last night and I sat down and thought about the changes/modifications I want to make. Those actions helped me to feel better about the Challenge in general and to feel that I deserve my weekly prize. I'm excited for tomorrow because I can continue with what is working and I can work in some new ways to approach the goals. : )
Here are the changes:
- I have decided to make the weekly progress photos be posted on Mondays instead of Sundays. Sunday nights have the potential to be hectic because that is when we have been spending time with friends.
- This weekend has inspired me to read or watch 15 minutes of a General Conference talk in my mornings, this will be my personal scripture time for the time being. I can wake up and be groggy, get my morning vitamins and before I turn on a TV show I can turn on my talk and let my brain wake up to those thoughts. I also want to pray in the mornings with this activity.
- I have decided to be more specific with the physical question.
- I have decided that the night before while I am doing my nighttime routine I will assign a yoga practice to the next day. (It doesn't have to be locked into one, it'll probably be ones that I can choose from.) This will help me to be excited to do my yoga and this I'm hoping will help me to do it more regularly, instead of squeezing it in during the weekend, hoping to make my bare minimum. (Nightly plan.) : )
- I have also decided instead of each mental health task being its own goal, to consolidate them into one goal. Do one mental health task per week. This way, when I am planning the next day I can look at my commitments, look at what has been a trigger for me and pick a time to do a mental health activity. I feel like this way I can utilize the tools I have, and not feel overwhelmed by that section of the challenge anymore. (Nightly plan.) : )
- I want to have nightly planning time for the next day. : )
- I have decided this next week instead of saying "NO sugar!" This week I will say "No candy." then I will work from there.
- If I watch TV episodes in a row (which I do. a lot.) Then before I can click on the next episode I need to get up off the couch and do something. I can look at my tasks and start a task or I can stretch or I can tidy up around me, just something that gets me up and doing things.
These are my changes. I feel really good about them and I am excited to start implementing them. I want to keep having faith in my efforts and faith in the Lord as he helps me.
Onto Week 3!
Goodnight!
-Camille
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Day 12 & 13 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is Day 13 but I will be posting for day 12 as well (I actually forgot!)
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Day 12: Went well, I did just want to sleep in and rest all day before I went to work. So that was a bit difficult, because sometimes resting all day feels SOOO nice. But then the body gets used to it. : / ugh.
I did eat 3 meals.
I haven't been keeping up my elimination diet, or eating log. I haven't been eating corn but I have been allowing dairy and sugar to sneak up on me.
I went to bed on time.
I brushed my teeth.
I brushed my hair.
I did YOGA! I ended up doing nightime yoga because it was so late and it was great.
I prayed. : )
I emailed and looked more into yoga training schools. (My something brave.)
Day 13:
Today was a good day. Today was General Conference (A broadcast from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where the leaders of the church speak to us.) I felt inspired and uplifted by the messages and honestly they helped me to think about things in my life.
I brushed my teeth
I showered.
I washed my face
I am going to do yoga right after I post this!
I did read scriptures today and I did pray. I basically spent the whole day filing my spiritual cup which I forget how important that really is. Today was very enlightening.
I pondered about this challenge today, and I'm going to do some more pondering tomorrow.
I did an Anatomy quiz today! (1 hr of schoolwork + 1 Anatomy assignment)
I will go to bed on time.
How do you feel physically?
Day 12: I just felt tired.
Day 13: Physically, I feel good. My nerves were somewhat sensitive today, which is a sign of an episode coming, but it's not too bad today so hopefully I can catch it before it gets too bad.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good mentally. I am somewhat worried about my weekly progress picture tomorrow. I'm starting to get antsy about getting into shape, and that's not really why I'm doing the project. It will be a benefit of it, I'm sure, but I'm getting anxious. (It's a control thing, like well the mind stuff takes a long time to see the benefits of and the spiritual stuff's benefits aren't always visible, so I should be working out harder so that my body can change so I can see that progress, right??) I feel this way yet I'm barely (and I mean barely) making my 3-4 times a week minimum with Yoga. My perfectionism really sneaks up on me in the weirdest ways, doesn't it?
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel okay. Thinking about the important things I learned from General Conference today was really helpful. Thinking about my control issues makes me feel a little nervous and uptight. Which to me is a sign that a change of thought patterns is in order. I will ponder that tomorrow when I am pondering the project in general.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are that I still want to do it. I want to do good things for myself so that I can keep living my life. I think that sometimes I forget to take care of myself and my needs get neglected. Other times I get worried about my needs that I neglect to live my life outside of "taking care of myself". Sooo I want the challenge to help me find balance between the two. I want to do the good, important things for my mental, physical and spiritual well-being. I also want to live my life with out worry of goals and deadlines not being met. I also want to let go of my need for control and perfect situations. This need is a big anxiety trigger for me, and it is so unnecessary. Sigh. (That is what I keep telling myself anyway.)
Anyway, more info on the things I will be pondering/modifying/changing the way I think about them.
Tomorrow!
Xoxo!
Today is Day 13 but I will be posting for day 12 as well (I actually forgot!)
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Day 12: Went well, I did just want to sleep in and rest all day before I went to work. So that was a bit difficult, because sometimes resting all day feels SOOO nice. But then the body gets used to it. : / ugh.
I did eat 3 meals.
I haven't been keeping up my elimination diet, or eating log. I haven't been eating corn but I have been allowing dairy and sugar to sneak up on me.
I went to bed on time.
I brushed my teeth.
I brushed my hair.
I did YOGA! I ended up doing nightime yoga because it was so late and it was great.
I prayed. : )
I emailed and looked more into yoga training schools. (My something brave.)
Day 13:
Today was a good day. Today was General Conference (A broadcast from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where the leaders of the church speak to us.) I felt inspired and uplifted by the messages and honestly they helped me to think about things in my life.
I brushed my teeth
I showered.
I washed my face
I am going to do yoga right after I post this!
I did read scriptures today and I did pray. I basically spent the whole day filing my spiritual cup which I forget how important that really is. Today was very enlightening.
I pondered about this challenge today, and I'm going to do some more pondering tomorrow.
I did an Anatomy quiz today! (1 hr of schoolwork + 1 Anatomy assignment)
I will go to bed on time.
How do you feel physically?
Day 12: I just felt tired.
Day 13: Physically, I feel good. My nerves were somewhat sensitive today, which is a sign of an episode coming, but it's not too bad today so hopefully I can catch it before it gets too bad.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good mentally. I am somewhat worried about my weekly progress picture tomorrow. I'm starting to get antsy about getting into shape, and that's not really why I'm doing the project. It will be a benefit of it, I'm sure, but I'm getting anxious. (It's a control thing, like well the mind stuff takes a long time to see the benefits of and the spiritual stuff's benefits aren't always visible, so I should be working out harder so that my body can change so I can see that progress, right??) I feel this way yet I'm barely (and I mean barely) making my 3-4 times a week minimum with Yoga. My perfectionism really sneaks up on me in the weirdest ways, doesn't it?
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel okay. Thinking about the important things I learned from General Conference today was really helpful. Thinking about my control issues makes me feel a little nervous and uptight. Which to me is a sign that a change of thought patterns is in order. I will ponder that tomorrow when I am pondering the project in general.
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are that I still want to do it. I want to do good things for myself so that I can keep living my life. I think that sometimes I forget to take care of myself and my needs get neglected. Other times I get worried about my needs that I neglect to live my life outside of "taking care of myself". Sooo I want the challenge to help me find balance between the two. I want to do the good, important things for my mental, physical and spiritual well-being. I also want to live my life with out worry of goals and deadlines not being met. I also want to let go of my need for control and perfect situations. This need is a big anxiety trigger for me, and it is so unnecessary. Sigh. (That is what I keep telling myself anyway.)
Anyway, more info on the things I will be pondering/modifying/changing the way I think about them.
Tomorrow!
Xoxo!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Day 11 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is day 11!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today went well. It was cold outside and I didn't have any commitments so I spent a lot of the day wrapped up in a blanket. I can tell you what I did though.
I didn't wake up @7 or 7:30, I slept in until 9:30 ish. And I took a nap. I think I must have been tired today.
I did something brave today! I emailed two yoga teacher training programs to find out more information. : )
I ate 4 meals today. : ) (Still no corn, although occasionally HFCS will slip past me. I'm conscious of the normal corn so it is easier to avoid.)
To be honest, I didn't brush my hair today. : / but I will do it before bed. : )
I did prep things for Young Women's today. I prepped for our next mutual activity.
I will read scriptures and say a prayer tonight.
As for the rest, who knows... ; )
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. I didn't have much pain today, or discomfort. : )
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good mentally. I was productive today, and accepting days as they are is what will help me the most. So today I'm accepting today as it was. (I actually loved being lazy in my blanket all day, it felt great. So it is ironic that when I do have days like that I feel guilty like I should have been doing more. It's a hard balance between letting myself have lazy days occasionally and being okay with them and the lazy days turning into avoidance days.) But I'm trying. I didn't feel like I was avoiding anything today. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have that much to do, but when I make myself think of what I have to do then it becomes an obsession and a stressor. So I'm letting today be what it was, nice.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel good. I watched one of my favorite inspirational movies with Husband tonight and it just made my heart happy. (Forrest Gump) I also spoke to my Mom a lot on the phone today and we talked about some helpful things. I felt hopeful after our conversation. She talked a lot about how life is not black and white, and how you learn as you go, you don't have to "have everything figured out by a certain time in life" and apparently that is a struggle for me. Who knew?? ; )
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are: Keep on Keepin' on. Looking into those yoga training programs today motivated me to do my yoga. My mom said yoga training could take me places I might not even be planning for and I feel like that is true with yoga training and with some of my other goals, so I feel excited to keep working at this challenge, so I can live my life with a peaceful heart, not so I can live a perfect life. : ) Simple things make the difference, right.
P.S. I love watching a movie, snuggling with Husband on these cold days. Something as simple as that can make me feel so grateful and content.
Night!
Today is day 11!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today went well. It was cold outside and I didn't have any commitments so I spent a lot of the day wrapped up in a blanket. I can tell you what I did though.
I didn't wake up @7 or 7:30, I slept in until 9:30 ish. And I took a nap. I think I must have been tired today.
I did something brave today! I emailed two yoga teacher training programs to find out more information. : )
I ate 4 meals today. : ) (Still no corn, although occasionally HFCS will slip past me. I'm conscious of the normal corn so it is easier to avoid.)
To be honest, I didn't brush my hair today. : / but I will do it before bed. : )
I did prep things for Young Women's today. I prepped for our next mutual activity.
I will read scriptures and say a prayer tonight.
As for the rest, who knows... ; )
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. I didn't have much pain today, or discomfort. : )
How do you feel mentally?
I feel good mentally. I was productive today, and accepting days as they are is what will help me the most. So today I'm accepting today as it was. (I actually loved being lazy in my blanket all day, it felt great. So it is ironic that when I do have days like that I feel guilty like I should have been doing more. It's a hard balance between letting myself have lazy days occasionally and being okay with them and the lazy days turning into avoidance days.) But I'm trying. I didn't feel like I was avoiding anything today. Sometimes I just don't feel like I have that much to do, but when I make myself think of what I have to do then it becomes an obsession and a stressor. So I'm letting today be what it was, nice.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel good. I watched one of my favorite inspirational movies with Husband tonight and it just made my heart happy. (Forrest Gump) I also spoke to my Mom a lot on the phone today and we talked about some helpful things. I felt hopeful after our conversation. She talked a lot about how life is not black and white, and how you learn as you go, you don't have to "have everything figured out by a certain time in life" and apparently that is a struggle for me. Who knew?? ; )
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts on the challenge are: Keep on Keepin' on. Looking into those yoga training programs today motivated me to do my yoga. My mom said yoga training could take me places I might not even be planning for and I feel like that is true with yoga training and with some of my other goals, so I feel excited to keep working at this challenge, so I can live my life with a peaceful heart, not so I can live a perfect life. : ) Simple things make the difference, right.
P.S. I love watching a movie, snuggling with Husband on these cold days. Something as simple as that can make me feel so grateful and content.
Night!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Day 10 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is day 10! Crazy!!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today went well. My Great Aunt's funeral was today and my cousins were in town for it. I LOVED having them in town, they spent the night at my place and it was great. Short, but great.
The funeral was nice. Some of the things that were said stayed with me. (There were some points that dragged on, but what can you do. ; ) ) I wasn't very close with this Great Aunt, I knew here and I have memories with her, but that is about it. Death has a way of making me ponder deep feelings and thoughts. It was cathartic to cry and say good-bye.
Anyway,
I got up at 8:30 today (So I slept in/ laid in bed for an hour)
I did my hair and makeup because of the funeral, but I'll still count it.
I brushed my teeth
I went to the funeral then I went to work
I only ate two meals today (forgot breakfast!)
How do you feel physically?
I feel tired. I'm starting to get tired around 9, which is great for my plan for the schedule, but the tiredness isn't as present at 10:30. Ironic, I know.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel tired mentally. I don't feel stressed, just tired. Like I worked hard today and I'm ready to rest. I came home from work and just wanted to veg. So I did, and I have to say that vegging/relaxing after a hard day feels great. I think I've discovered the goodness of relaxing after I have put forth my effort for the day, not avoiding life posing as "relaxing". This was a good reminder to me, to keep up the good work.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel good. I don't feel a heavy anxiety-ridden burden on my heart, and I don't feel a sense of doom and gloom hanging over my head. I think today was a good day, if only for that. : )
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts are that I want to keep doing it. Tomorrow I won't have a funeral or family stuff to do so I can focus on some of the things from my challenge. Something that I have learned in this process is that life goes on, whether there is a challenge in my life or not. I knew that I had commitments like work, etc. But actually doing life things, I think I just forgot about that. Ha. I guess my anxiety/depressive episodes make me forget about the things in life that aren't commitments or obligations, but they are things you do in life and they are okay. Last weekend when I was anxious that I didn't do much with the challenge, it was because I was living my "weekend life". Today I am living my "normal life" (the one where you get up, take care of yourself and then in essence, forget about yourself and work for a good cause.) What an eye opener. My challenge is a good idea, I still think so, but it's so relaxing to not have everything be about me. I'm going to ponder on this more and get back to you with ideas.
Goodnight!
P.S. 1/6 of the way through! Woot!
xoxo!
Today is day 10! Crazy!!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today went well. My Great Aunt's funeral was today and my cousins were in town for it. I LOVED having them in town, they spent the night at my place and it was great. Short, but great.
The funeral was nice. Some of the things that were said stayed with me. (There were some points that dragged on, but what can you do. ; ) ) I wasn't very close with this Great Aunt, I knew here and I have memories with her, but that is about it. Death has a way of making me ponder deep feelings and thoughts. It was cathartic to cry and say good-bye.
Anyway,
I got up at 8:30 today (So I slept in/ laid in bed for an hour)
I did my hair and makeup because of the funeral, but I'll still count it.
I brushed my teeth
I went to the funeral then I went to work
I only ate two meals today (forgot breakfast!)
How do you feel physically?
I feel tired. I'm starting to get tired around 9, which is great for my plan for the schedule, but the tiredness isn't as present at 10:30. Ironic, I know.
How do you feel mentally?
I feel tired mentally. I don't feel stressed, just tired. Like I worked hard today and I'm ready to rest. I came home from work and just wanted to veg. So I did, and I have to say that vegging/relaxing after a hard day feels great. I think I've discovered the goodness of relaxing after I have put forth my effort for the day, not avoiding life posing as "relaxing". This was a good reminder to me, to keep up the good work.
How do you feel emotionally?
Emotionally, I feel good. I don't feel a heavy anxiety-ridden burden on my heart, and I don't feel a sense of doom and gloom hanging over my head. I think today was a good day, if only for that. : )
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
My thoughts are that I want to keep doing it. Tomorrow I won't have a funeral or family stuff to do so I can focus on some of the things from my challenge. Something that I have learned in this process is that life goes on, whether there is a challenge in my life or not. I knew that I had commitments like work, etc. But actually doing life things, I think I just forgot about that. Ha. I guess my anxiety/depressive episodes make me forget about the things in life that aren't commitments or obligations, but they are things you do in life and they are okay. Last weekend when I was anxious that I didn't do much with the challenge, it was because I was living my "weekend life". Today I am living my "normal life" (the one where you get up, take care of yourself and then in essence, forget about yourself and work for a good cause.) What an eye opener. My challenge is a good idea, I still think so, but it's so relaxing to not have everything be about me. I'm going to ponder on this more and get back to you with ideas.
Goodnight!
P.S. 1/6 of the way through! Woot!
xoxo!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Day 9 of 60 Day Challenge!
What day is today in the Challenge?
Today is day 9!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great! *Side note.* Last night after my post, I brushed my hair, took a nice hot shower (did an ACV rinse on my hair), washed my face with honey and then used ACV and Witch Hazel as a toner, and then coconut oil as a moisturizer. THIS HELPED SO MUCH. I went to bed less frazzled, my face feeling great and less grumpy overall.
Anyway, Today was great.
I got up at 7, took Husband to work and did NOT go back to bed!
I cleaned the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, did the laundry and the dishes.
I did my hour (plus some) of homework. I finished a project that is due Friday, (I hate doing it last minute.)
I brushed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I went to counseling. (Today's session was particularly cathartic. My counselor asked me about my relationship with God. Which to be honest for the past few years has been strained. We talked about things I would say to him if he were sitting next to me, and how I would go about expressing my anger and hurt that I've been avoiding for a long time. I don't know if it realizing my feelings, or if it was suddenly feeling like it was okay to express them. I felt like a weight had been lifted from me.)
Husband made dinner tonight. : )
It was a close call, but I made sure I did YOGA tonight. : )
I ate 3 meals today! (It was also a close call. I really do forget)
I will brush my teeth, wash my face, read my scriptures and say a prayer.
*My cousins are in town for a funeral so I will try my best to get to bed on time.
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. My back feels a little achy, but it could be from the cleaning today.
How do you feel mentally?
Mentally, I feel good. I do think I obsess over things. Today was great, but I'm still trying to figure out how to involve some of weekly tasks and the mental exercises. I'm trying not to go there, but my mind always goes into "solving/fixing" mode.
How do you feel emotionally?
I felt like so many emotions came out of me today. So right now, it's like well I don't have much left, so I'll keep moving forward. (In a positive way.)
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I feel great about the challenge. I feel like I could not have accomplished what I did today, if I had not stayed awake. I knew that going into my day so I was prepare to stay awake. What is hard is motivating myself to stay awake when I don't have pressing things happening. That is part of the reason why I came up with the challenge. So finding a way to get my butt out of bed, every day will really open up opportunities for me. I'm just hoping that I can help that action be a habit, so I can continue it.
Also, I'm antsy to get back to working out. My muscles are in an odd place right now. I haven't lifted weights in months, and frankly I get obsessive and go too hard at the gym and make my Fibro symptoms come and stay for a long period of time. It was wise for me to take a break from the gym while I am learning moderation, but I am antsy to get back to it. I think the hard part will be not going to crazy. My boss who is a Physical Therapist regularly tells his patients and myself "gradual consistency is what will help your body the most. Not a weekend warrior." Don't get me wrong, I love yoga, I just am in a rush to get in shape. I have to remember, "small and simple things."
Alright, today was good. See you tomorrow!
Camille
Today is day 9!
How did it go?(How many of the daily tasks did you accomplish today?If applicable, how many of the weekly tasks did you accomplish today?)
Today was great! *Side note.* Last night after my post, I brushed my hair, took a nice hot shower (did an ACV rinse on my hair), washed my face with honey and then used ACV and Witch Hazel as a toner, and then coconut oil as a moisturizer. THIS HELPED SO MUCH. I went to bed less frazzled, my face feeling great and less grumpy overall.
Anyway, Today was great.
I got up at 7, took Husband to work and did NOT go back to bed!
I cleaned the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, did the laundry and the dishes.
I did my hour (plus some) of homework. I finished a project that is due Friday, (I hate doing it last minute.)
I brushed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I went to counseling. (Today's session was particularly cathartic. My counselor asked me about my relationship with God. Which to be honest for the past few years has been strained. We talked about things I would say to him if he were sitting next to me, and how I would go about expressing my anger and hurt that I've been avoiding for a long time. I don't know if it realizing my feelings, or if it was suddenly feeling like it was okay to express them. I felt like a weight had been lifted from me.)
Husband made dinner tonight. : )
It was a close call, but I made sure I did YOGA tonight. : )
I ate 3 meals today! (It was also a close call. I really do forget)
I will brush my teeth, wash my face, read my scriptures and say a prayer.
*My cousins are in town for a funeral so I will try my best to get to bed on time.
How do you feel physically?
I feel good. My back feels a little achy, but it could be from the cleaning today.
How do you feel mentally?
Mentally, I feel good. I do think I obsess over things. Today was great, but I'm still trying to figure out how to involve some of weekly tasks and the mental exercises. I'm trying not to go there, but my mind always goes into "solving/fixing" mode.
How do you feel emotionally?
I felt like so many emotions came out of me today. So right now, it's like well I don't have much left, so I'll keep moving forward. (In a positive way.)
What are your thoughts on the challenge?
I feel great about the challenge. I feel like I could not have accomplished what I did today, if I had not stayed awake. I knew that going into my day so I was prepare to stay awake. What is hard is motivating myself to stay awake when I don't have pressing things happening. That is part of the reason why I came up with the challenge. So finding a way to get my butt out of bed, every day will really open up opportunities for me. I'm just hoping that I can help that action be a habit, so I can continue it.
Also, I'm antsy to get back to working out. My muscles are in an odd place right now. I haven't lifted weights in months, and frankly I get obsessive and go too hard at the gym and make my Fibro symptoms come and stay for a long period of time. It was wise for me to take a break from the gym while I am learning moderation, but I am antsy to get back to it. I think the hard part will be not going to crazy. My boss who is a Physical Therapist regularly tells his patients and myself "gradual consistency is what will help your body the most. Not a weekend warrior." Don't get me wrong, I love yoga, I just am in a rush to get in shape. I have to remember, "small and simple things."
Alright, today was good. See you tomorrow!
Camille
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